I’ve Always Been A Reject, Baby.

I’ve been contemplating how to write this blog post, and it’s taken me a while to figure out a way to tackle it. So I figured I’d do what I always do: I’ll put one word in front of another, reflecting how I feel, until I have a sentence. A few of those should, hopefully, make a coherent sentence and, assuming I don’t come across like a monkey with a typewriter, by the end I should have a completed entry.

It still doesn’t make this particular post any easier and yet, for the first time, I actually feel validated as a writer.

I’m not ‘aspiring’; I’m not a ‘wannabe’ any more.

No, I’ve not acquired a literary agent (yet), and I’m yet to published. So why this feeling?

Well, you see, for the first time ever in my journey as a writer, I’ve been rejected.

And you know what…it’s not half bad.

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Matrix Dreams.

You may be familiar with how I use Write Steve Write as a personal journal in order to chronicle my progress, lack of progress, and inspiration when it comes to writing. Specifically when it comes to fine tuning my manuscript, Temporary, and its little brother, Shell.

I’ve set goals, missed goals, and hit goals during my time sharing all my wins and loses with those who care to read them and be a part of this long adventure, and I’m appreciative of everyone one of you who has taken the time to follow along.

For those of you who may be stumbling across this for the first time: Welcome!

If you’ve ever wondered what the process is like for someone with no industry contacts, and only a love of story to warm them during those long, cold nights, then you’ve come to the right place. You’ll be able to chart back every major turn and event I’ve taken with Temporary, right up until, hopefully, I’m able to blog about such incredibly positive things with Friends inspired titles like “The One Where I Get An Agent”, or “The One Where I’m Published and On An Awesome Book Tour, Please Come Meet Me!”.

Until then, there’s this:

Another pass on #Temporary, and it’s like I can finally, sort of, maybe see #TheMatrix. #amwriting #amrewriting pic.twitter.com/WC4dcgIsHf

— Steve Russell (@stevetendo) January 20, 2016

Plateau.

 

A few nights ago I had a great post-BJJ catch up with a friend I hadn’t seen at the gym for a while.

The conversation related specifically to how he felt about himself in relation to his progression with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and his dream of becoming a black belt, which would eventually lead to opening his own gym, allowing him to make a living from the Gentle Art.

I quickly discovered that we were both on the same frustrating path.

Whereas everybody else in class seemed to be excelling at an exponential rate, improving with an alarming rate, we both felt that we had stalled. Somewhere along the line we had become stagnant. Our game became predictable, expected, and we became lost within the roll, rather than experiencing and learning from it.

For him, the relatively new blue belt, and myself, a single stripe blue belt for almost a full year, there was a harsh realisation.

We’d hit a plateau.

What always surprises me from the lessons I learn on the mats is how applicable they are to my other interests and ambitions.

Not for the first time, a lesson learned through BJJ can easily relate back to my writing journey.

This Painting Is Done…

…said no artist, probably ever.

To be honest, it’s one of the hardest thing that I’ve encountered with every creative process I’ve been through; writing, screen writing, directing, podcasting, whatever the medium there’s always that lingering voice of doubt at the back of my head when I reach the perceived end of a project.

Is it really the end?

Just when, exactly, do you know that what you’ve been working so diligently on is at a point where there are no more tweaks to be made, no more major issues to be dealt with, to know that it’s, without any doubt, ‘done’?

Reject The Status Quo

The status quo is a dangerous and easy thing to become accustomed to. It allows for complacency and laziness; an over familiarity with the status quo achieves nothing more than personal and creative stagnation. You may look at what is happening in your life and wonder, “Where is my progress?”, “Where is my momentum?”

I know I have.

It may be lacking because of an subconcious acceptance of the status quo.

I’ve been begrudgingly learning this lesson over the past few weeks, with unwanted frustration growing during my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu training. Recently I’ve been stuck in a rut, with people able to shut down or counter my game based on my, now, relative predictability. What I used to do worked every time. Not so much anymore.

So what happened? What’s happened within the given status quo, and could it actually be a good thing?

What can my BJJ training teach me about this new personal obstruction, and how, exactly, does it tie into my writing? What life lesson is there to glean from this?